Shop 'til you drop a history lesson

It was one thing to live in Orlando for a year without once visiting Disney; it's quite another to live in NYC for 7 years and not once visit a single historic site. Even more sad than that is how I came to realize my ignorance of the area's incredibly rich history: I was shopping.

On Sat., Jeremy and I did our bi-annual "yes, we really are poor" reality check: a drive out to Mendham, NJ, for pub grub and then The Mall at Short Hills for "silly bourgeois upstart, are you looking for a price tag?" Along the way, I saw many gross things (mangled deer on the side of the road, Newark, etc) but one sign in particular got me thinking: "Washington's Headquarters." That's all it said on the side of route 24 -- typically cryptic NJ signage. I guess they mean, "exit here if you'd like to see one of George Washington's many headquarters from the American Revolution."

In light of how much time I'd just spent looking for a Coldstone ice cream shop at Short Hills (they don't have one! I'm starting a petition!), I suddenly felt very stupid for not making an effort to see a single brick laid in the tri-state area during this country's founding.

The realization sank in today when I met Shay for brunch at the Cheesecake Factory out in Huntington (Long Island). In addition to the typical LI strip mall/Starbucks/strip mall/gas station scenery, I noticed signs and stores named "Whitman." A pattern started to emerge and by the time I got to brunch, I realized I was in the heart of Walt Whitman's birthplace (the sign across from the "Walt Whitman Mall" said so).

How did I not know this? I've studied "Leaves of Grass"...surely my Norton American Lit Anthology mentioned that Whitman also bought chinos at the Gap. Seriously, I didn't know Whitman was from LI (or that he lived most of his life in Brooklyn!). My ability to live -- and, of course, shop -- in such close proximity to history while being so ignorant of it is frightening.

Yes, naming a mall after one of America's most anti-commercial literary giants may be a cruel disrespect, but it's okay for 2 reasons: 1) Whitman would've LOVED Abercrombie & Fitch; and 2) it alerts ignoramuses like me to sites of historical significance.



Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I mean, isn't history everywhere? Even when I was living in Coral Springs, FL (ew, I just threw up a little), surely there was something of historical significance nearby? Hmmm. On second thought, pro'ly not. The place was a bug/gator-infested swamp just 20 years prior to my arrival. But it's hard to forgive myself, especially when I make such an effort to seek out history when I travel, read nothing but books about history and was so moved by my visit to DC that I cried on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

Actually, I was briefly inspired to check out local history in mid-'07 after reading "Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation," a really great book by Joseph Ellis. One of the chapters is dedicated to the Hamilton-Burr duel that took place on the cliffs of the Hudson (about where Weehawken, NJ, is today). That got me thinking, "hmmm, maybe I should check out..." but then I got distracted by a shiny object.

So, that's a New Year's resolution for 2008: see at least 3 historic sites in NY/NJ/CT/RI/MA (any one of the states I'm in throughout the year -- shouldn't be hard to fit some field-trippy sight-seeing in, right?).

Addendum
Just remembered that Coral Springs has some historical significance beyond being partly to blame for the Everglade's destruction: woolly mammoth bones were uncovered while they were building the community I'd later live in (Parkside townhomes).
http://www.coralsprings.org/history/fullstory.cfm?articleid=10517

Lucky, cheap calendar girl

Yay, I made deadline and can now fuck around online again!!! Despite having only 4 hours sleep before heading into CBS today, I was SO excited at the prospect of not having to rush home to work that I decided to fuck around in the city first.

FIRST STOP: Sephora in Times Square.
This store is the only reason I ever step foot in that NYC version of Florida fakery (aka Times Sq). Yes, there are just as many Sephoras in NYC as there are Starbucks (okay, maybe 100 fewer) but the Times Sq Sephora has the biggest selection of makeup and it's open 'til midnight. Convinced that Macy's has it all wrong and Shiseido did NOT discontinue my S1 lipstick, I marched from CBS over to Sephora to replenish my golden lip goo.

On the way, I was amazed at how immaculate the streets were despite having hosted millions of drunk tourists just one day before (the mess Dick Clark left on his seat would've taken ME at least a week to clean); however, just before entering Sephora, a flurry of confetti drifted onto my head in the bitterly cold gust...must've been stuck behind Diddy's billboard or something. Oh, and I did see some glittery bits of New Year's evidence frozen in a dirty puddle, too. If it weren't for wind, ice and Diddy, I might never know the sight of confetti in Times Square!

NEXT STOP: Barnes and Noble in Union Square (stopping to get a hot apple cider from the farmer's market first, of course).

Here's something I've never admitted before: I'm one cheap bitch when it comes to buying calendars. Every year for the last decade or so, I've waited until AFTER Jan. 1 to get my calendar. Yes, it's inconvenient for the first few days but why should I pay $20 for a calendar that will be $10 just days later? The trick is getting to Barnes and Noble within the first week of January -- otherwise, the selection dwindles even further and you're left with "World War II" and "Literary Cats" to pick from.

Today, the selection was its usual range of bizarre and boring but still do-able. Ya know, I wouldn't even know what kinds of calendars are usually available but if the masses consume them, I probably wouldn't be interested, anyway (yeah, I'm that cool despite liking all the crap shows on MTV).

Honestly and truly: I have LOVED every calendar this freaky time of year begets me. One year was "Virgen de Guadalupe," 12 big months of various shrines to Our Lady. While this may sound like an awful calendar to look at for a year, those who know me well know that my bathroom's theme is all Guadalupe, all the time. Another year was "MikWright"...'nuf said (www.mikwright.com).

So, today's decision was tough (the "Extreme Ironing" calendar was tempting: images of extreme sports people ironing their clothes on the sides of mountains) but I finally settled on three (yes, I know this defeats the purpose of buying 50% off calendars but so what):
1) "2008 NY Yankees" (same style as my "2007 New England Patriots")
2) "Chicano Art" (in the same vein as "Virgen de Guadalupe" only not as campy)
3) and the BEST CALENDAR EVER: "Veggies Gone Wild! Produce Behaving Badly"




My initial thinking with the three was to be nice and offer my roommate a choice since we both eat and share the kitchen space but the more I laughed about the veggie calendar (and cried about my need to tone up), the more I realized: this calendar is EXACTLY what I need to look at every day in 2008. Not bad for $6.99. (For what it's worth, I ended up spending $103 in B&N today. [Schmuck.])

I'm SO looking forward to February (dates are posed like they're blind and waiting for someone--caption: "The blind dates waited for hours, not realizing the other had also turned up early"). And, June looks good, too (a shipwrecked orange eating himself--caption: "Fearing scurvy, the orange resorted to eating himself, segment by segment"). Love my lucky, cheap calendars!

p.s. you'd think I'd have nothing left in the writing tank after doing a magazine but nooooooo...