Tuesday, July 01, 2008

God hates my left leg

A little background: I went to the Grand Canyon a couple weeks ago with my Dad for Father's Day, rode around in a convertible Mustang GT the entire time and basically bathed in scorching hot sunlight for 4 straight days. I hid my face under a wide-brimmed hat and blanketed my skin in SPF 45 sunblock the entire time. I returned to NYC a slightly-tanner version of my pasty self (i.e. I was a bit grey).

This weekend, I joined Dan, Susan, Marni, Doron and Julia for a round of pitch and putt golf out in the Far Rockaways, the spit of sand that divides Jamaica Bay and the Atlantic. Although I brought the very same sunblock I'd used in the Grand Canyon, I decided that the morning sun and northern exposure didn't warrant another bath in the stuff. So, I pitched and putted the 18-hole executive course with sunblock on my face and arms only. What resulted is mind-boggling:

As a redhead, I've had my share of burns but nothing quite like this.

My neck sustained a slight burn but the worst of it was reserved for one area on my left leg. I got a sunburn on back of my left knee and half of the kneecap (the right leg escaped unscathed). How did this happen? We were teeing off in a different direction at each hole so there's no reason for just one leg -- and one PART of the leg -- to be burned. It's just bizarre. And it hurts.

I came home and doused the back of my knee and half of the kneecap with cold aloe vera from the fridge, wondering how on earth I managed to do this. How to explain it? "I accidentally poured burning hot stupidity on my knee?" "Turns out, some asshole on the course had a magnifying glass pointed at my knee?"

Seriously. WTF? As a kid, all of my major cuts/scrapes/injuries happened to my left leg (it has the scars to prove it). In summer 2005, I tore my left calf muscle playing soccer (was on crutches for 2 months, had PT for 6 months and can never play again). Now, I get this weirdo burn just inches from where the gimpy remains of my calf muscle are. Does God have something against my left leg?

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